


Neon Light

by Wakarl



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: 90s period background, Angst, Behind Closed Doors, Closeted Character, M/M, Smut, but not that described kind of smut, kinda infidelity but not between ChanBaek, mention of beating up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 07:02:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28791414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wakarl/pseuds/Wakarl
Summary: Behind closed doors, two men live a romance in red and black.Could we revisit this matter? Alright, I admit, I should have believed you.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Neon Light

**Author's Note:**

> Here is a draft I've had for ages. It is quite short, but I was in the mood for it. Thank you to anyone who reads it ♥

Artifical lights play on their skins, their natural glow is red. Passionate red, blood red, neon red. It is the same every night, the white room turns into black and red, shadows blend with the neon lights from across the street.   
Is that how Baekhyun will remember him, in red and black? They never see each other by daylight anymore, and sometimes Chanyeol regrets the days they could meet under the sun without the burn of their hands itching to touch, to feel the other. Sometimes he regrets the time they did not need to hide.   
However, then he could not reverbate kisses along Baekhyun’s chest, he could not taste the savour of his skin.   
And Chanyeol would trade an eternity without sunlight for an hour of Baekhyun in his sheets.   
“What are you thinking about, my prince?” A warm breath whispers in his ear.   
The night lies there, hot and wild, beautiful for its hostages. The sweaty naked body of his lover latches onto his back. Chanyeol grabs the hand playing with his nipples and kisses it reverently without a word. The older male knows the answer anyway. 

Two nights a week. Two nights where Baekhyun would abandon his wife, his quiet life, his prohibitions and whatever the society tried to make of him. Two nights to invent love in Chanyeol’s tiny studio flat, their bodies slowly dancing in the dark.

When they met they used to smell like clean linen and woody scents.   
One day Baekhyun entered Chanyeol’s video rental shop by chance, looking for some Kurosawa movies. Smooth, polite, charming with mischievous eyes and an indiscreet tongue peeking between his lips every so often. Of course Chanyeol had been swooned since their first encounter. Of course when the seducing customer came back too often to feel uninterested his heart throbbed with the building anticipation.   
After a month he began to ask for the VHS of _Morte a Venezia_ by Visconti. Then _The Boys in the Band_ by Friedkin. And finally _My Own Private Idaho._ It was a weird way to flirt, but Chanyeol would not run a video rental shop if this kind of pick-up technique did not work on him. The silver band on the handsome man’s fourth finger did not deter him either; the most beautiful love stories are always doomed. 

He had his fair share of affairs with married men craving for an ardent night, closeted ones who would crawl back to their homes with their heads lowered once the sun begins to rise. But Baekhyun was different, Baekhyun saw him from day one. Obviously he fervently checked him out, he marveled at Chanyeol’s body. However, he really _looked_ at him, he scaned his soul and devoured it, he left nothing behind him and yet Chanyeol gladly gave everything. Baekhyun always shows how grateful he is about that. He touches him like nobody else did before, he listens to Chanyeol for hours, sometimes the latter does not even know what he is saying anymore, he just revels in the attention. Baekhyun says _I love you_ even though he cannot promise him anything.

Nowadays they smell like sweat and toil. Chanyeol could nose out Baekhyun’s hard day of work as the shorter man would throw himself at him, taking in all the scents he met for the last ten hours. They have no time to freshen up so their fragrances are strong, intoxicating even. What is the use to wash the sweat and ink out of their bodies anyway, the fit of their passion will produce more. 

Chanyeol never felt dirty despite how many times he heard people say how disgusting he was, with the penchants he did not bother to hide. Even now he does not feel like a “dirty secret,” a shameful lover. He just feels red and black. Like a shadow feasting on a passion which will die once the sun is up. 

Apparently people like them in the West are getting a disease no-one knows how to cure. It even got Freddie Mercury last year. Chanyeol felt depressed for days after the death of his favourite singer. “They drop like flies. Not only queers, thousands of people around the world as well.” Someone frightfully muttered a month ago in the hidden gay bar he goes to sometimes. Truth is, few Koreans know anything concrete, media are silent about it and no-one wants to ask questions. The risks to be called out as a poof are too high. Out of precaution Baekhyun and he began to use condoms. Even though they perhaps deserve to die for what they are doing.   
A lethal passion. 

“Chanyeol...” Baekhyun’s husky voice never fails to bring him back to Earth when he starts to lose himself. “You okay?”   
“Always. Never. I don’t know.” He absently shrugs.   
Baekhyun frees his hand from Chanyeol’s grip and uses it to turn his lover’s body towards him. 

It has been a year already since Chanyeol found Baekhyun leaning on his shop. The taller had run some quick errands, and the way to go from the convenience store to his flat passes next to his video shop. It was a warm summer night. Everything was dark and moist, but he still recognised the silhouette standing next to the closed shop. They did not say a word. There were doubts in Baekhyun’s eyes, but mostly a feverish intensity which had nothing to do with the heat. It was the look of someone drowning. So Chanyeol had the foolishness to offer his hand. Baekhyun took it and followed him to his studio where they made love for the first time. Their eyes spoke for them the whole night.   
But then Baekhyun found his way to his studio again and again, and their tongues freed themselves. 

It has been a year and yet Chanyeol still loses his breath whenever Baekhyun dives his eyes into his. The latter gently strokes his cheek and presses their foreheads together. “What can I do to make it better?” He whispers adoringly.   
There is not a sound in the room, only their breaths and their dull heartbeats. Nonetheless they never dare to speak out loud, as if some decibels could break the charm.   
“Just be here.” It is a silly wish and yet it cannot be granted for long. At least not after the dew begins to dry.   
Baekhyun only gives him a soft hopeless smile and delicately puts his lips on his. They are more breathing each other than kissing but it is still incredibly intimate. Baekhyun slowly moves his mouth to Chanyeol’s ear and mumbles, “I want your soul to ramble on my skin...” Chanyeol cannot prevent the shiver that crosses his whole body. “Like that you’d latch onto me forever, here at my every move...” He whines softly. It is unfair how Baekhyun can make his body react so easily.   
Once he said, _“I want to love you in another language. It is frustrating how plain and limited this one is, too down to earth. I want more erotic synonyms, I want lyricism, I want to hotly whisper sensual metaphors in your ears until it makes you cum.”_   
Chanyeol thinks he already does a pretty good job, he does not know if he would survive to more.   
Baekhyun is full of sweet words and even sweeter gestures so when his lover’s hand begins to slide south Chanyeol surrenders with a sigh of pleasure. Baekhyun’s nimble wrist does not need to do much before his manhood is fully awoken, and in mere minutes he has a lapful of a gorgeous male slowly but passionately riding him. His eyes are fierce and steady. Nothing to remind of the first time he apprehensively bottomed for Chanyeol, a few weeks after they started to be intimate. No reluctance nor pain appear on his face anymore, he rides him as if he had done so all his life, possessively rubbing his pelvis and leaving scratches on his chest.   
Chanyeol adoringly strokes his hips in return, as tired pants and sweet words fill the room. _“You’re gorgeous” “You make me feel so good” “You’re my only one” “I love you so much”_   
The red of the room turns vibrant as Baekhyun glorioulsy comes on his torso, his exhausted face bearing an extatic look.   
“D’you feel better?” Baekhyun carefully asks, snuggling in his arms.   
“Yeah, I do.” Chanyeol lies without thinking about it. “Why won’t we sleep a little?” He suggests after a beat.   
“It’s only been two hours, can we stay up a bit more? After all, I am a man of the night. For days on end I run away from the night to roam the city before roaming your skin. Just so, when everything is dark, I can look at you dancing that special dance that only belongs to us.” Baekhyun whispers with a deep voice and a sly smirk.   
Chanyeol has to fight his blush to be able to snigger, “Boy of the night my ass, you’re dead tired. Tomorrow is a week day, you don’t want to fall asleep in the middle of a meeting.”   
“I guess I don’t...” Baekhyun eventually sighs, defeated. He silently plays a little more with Chanyeol’s hair before adressing him one of his intense look. Slowly he breaks the distance between their faces and gives him a last adoring kiss.   
“Never doubt that I love you.” He breathes against Chanyeol’s lips before closing his eyes for the night. 

He does not know if he should laugh or cry. Baekhyun’s love gives him wings of paper. It makes him feel on top of the world, so damn _alive_. But these wings can be shredded at the first harsh wind, and it only makes the fall more painful. Perhaps it would be better, if Baekhyun did not love him after all. It would be easier to not open his door anymore. But they are absolutely devastatingly in love with each other and Chanyeol cannot bring himself to live without the half of a thing they share.   
The younger stares helplessly at his lover’s peaceful face for almost half an hour before drifting off. 

_I’m looking for you in my dreams, I hunt your illusion. I kiss you there, I love you from the end of my lips. On yours that flay the abyss of my scarlet heart, you are the only fixed point of my disparate dreams._

Chanyeol is a light sleeper, the feeling of his lover wriggling out of his hold wakes him up every time.   
“Baekhyun...?” He croaks tiredly.   
He throws a glance at the clock. 4 AM, just the time for Baekhyun to fetch clean clothes at _his house_ before heading to work.   
He feels his lover’s hand stroking his right cheek, “Morning sunshine.” Baekhyun smiles at him and really, between the two of them _he_ is the sun. The older drops a chaste peck on his lips and whispers, “Count to ten...” He knows what that means, so Chanyeol tightly closes his eyes. 

One.   
_Baekhyun’s laugh._   
Two.   
_The mole on his left hip._   
Three.   
_His warmth._   
Four.   
_The grace of his hands._   
Five.   
_The melodies he always hums._   
Six.   
_The faraway glint in his eyes._   
Seven.   
_His shining smile._   
Eight.   
_The weight of his arms on his thighs._   
Nine.   
_Don’t leave._   
Ten.   
_Please stay._

He slowly opens his eyes. Like a hundred times before he helplessly throws a glance over his shoulder. The room is empty.   
Baekhyun says good byes are less painful if we do not see them. Chanyeol does not agree. It fucking hurts everytime. 

All in all, Chanyeol is an open book and Baekhyun knows everything about him. He knows how his parents reacted when they caught Chanyeol fooling around with the neighbours’ gardener when he was seventeen. How his grand-mother became his pillar after that and how they took care of each other until she died. Baekhyun knows that he systematically cries in front of _Hotaru no Haka_ but still watches it regularly. He knows about his friends, his dreams, his musical tastes, his favourite food, and his love for pets and weird shoes.   
On the contrary, Baekhyun does not talk much about himself. Chanyeol just knows that his parents are very conservative, that he likes his job even though it never was what he dreamt of, and that it was his inexplicable crush on Steve McQueen that made him realise that he was bi.   
What Chanyeol knows are the things that do not need words: how to decipher Baekhyun’s mood based on the patterns he draws on his skin, the way his nose scrunches when he is tired, his mimics, the tunes he likes to hum and the contentment hiding in his secret smiles.

Usually Chanyeol does not ask for much, he learnt how to be satisfied with crumbs of feelings and relationships a long time ago, when his own genitors threw him out of their lives.   
But with Baekhyun he is greedy, he does not understand how the former can make love to him so earnestly and forget about him five days a week. So once he exploded, demanded explanations, he would go for half-assed promises if he had to, anything to give him hope.   
However, Baekhyun never makes promises. He would not even grant him the slightest delusions.   
They argued that night, a lot. The room was fully crimson, all the shadows that they had pointedly ignored disappeared and it was just the two of them left, alone with their raging passion, wrath and helplessness.   
Baekhyun shouted about a divorce his parents would disown him for, about how they could never be together in front of society anyway. Bullshit that Chanyeol called out, blinded by hurt and disappointment, by the feeling that the older would never dare to fight for them.   
Baekhyun stormed out but came back three days after, eyes humid and the heart hanging onto his lips.   
That time he told him about how his wife was the sweetest creature, that he really thought he loved her until everything collapsed the day he fatefully craved for a good Kurosawa movie. His wife knew about them from the very start, there was no way he could hide this from her. She had admitted she always felt that Baekhyun was not hers to keep forever. Tears were shredded, fights were led but at the end of the day she would rather see Baekhyun honest and happy rather than to see him lie to her. In a way Baekhyun still loves her, enough to not want her to suffer.   
Except that the three of them suffer from the situation.   
Those explanations made Chanyeol even more self-conscious. He only thought about how Baekhyun’s wife was better than him, ready to step aside for the sake of her husband’s happiness. If Baekhyun was legally tied up to Chanyeol there is no way he would let him have affairs, he could barely be a selfless lover when Baekhyun is concerned, so do not even think about being a selfless spouse.   
Fortunately four months ago she apparently met someone she learnt to like. Let’s say that this piece of information reassured their guilty minds. More often than not Chanyeol dreams that it will be the finale straw, that with his wife dating someone else, the Byun household will finally get a divorce. However Baekhyun never mentions anything of the sort. 

It is finally Friday, and Chanyeol excitedly paces in front of his door, waiting for his lover. Tuesdays and Fridays are now his favourite days of the week, then sunset can never come soon enough.   
His thoughts are in a frenzy, there is so much things he wants to ask, that he wants to know, _“What did you eat today?” “How was work this week?” “I prepared_ bulgogi _for dinner, your favourite” “Did you boss agree with your plans?” “We received the new Almodovar at the shop, I think you’ll like it” “Did the weather bother you? I know you can’t bear the rain” “Did you miss me? Did you think about me half as much as I think about you?”_ The icy rain furiously pounds on the sidewalk, a curtain of water surrounding his flat for the brave ones only to pass through. _I love you when it rains, you are the nymph of my wishes..._

The sheets are not of the best quality, a bit coarse even, but they still are their love nest that Chanyeol gladly falls on when Baekhyun pushes him on the bed. The older is damp and the bed is already getting wet by his contact. Chanyeol should protest and roll him on a towel before allowing Baekhyun to touch him. November rain hits like pikes of ice after all, November rain goes straight to the bones. But his own eagerness – bordering desesperation – leaves him helpless.   
In this mess of limbs and clothes, Baekhyun’s fingers find that special spot on his nape, the one he only has to press like one switches off a button. His magical touch instantly calms Chanyeol down, paralysed by contentment.   
“What gets you in such a hurry, Chanyeol-ah?” Baekhyun asks tenderly, their faces only inches apart. One of his hands is busy removing the hair that hides the taller’s eyes, while the other still plays its magic on his nape.   
“I don’t know...” Chanyeol can only breathe out, and he really doesn’t. He merely stares at Baekhyun’s tired but twinkling eyes, at his button nose and his moles. The bloody one near his upper lip does him dirty everytime.   
“Were you worried because I’m late?” Baekhyun slightly frowns.   
Yup, that’s it. That freaking mole made him forget he was indeed anxious that something bad happened. Where did his carefreeness go after he met the older? Somehow Baekhyun must have read the answer on his face as his expression shifts into an apologetic softness.   
“Have you eaten yet? I bought us some food.” He nods towards one of the bags laying around due to Chanyeol’s assault. “Fortunately I told the seller to not be stingy with the wrapping, otherwise your floor would already be flooded with broth.” He chuckles. “What’s wrong, my prince?” He adds with a concerned voice in front of Chanyeol’s lack of reaction.   
Another nip at his lower lip and Chanyeol would taste his own blood. “It’s just... Kibum got beaten up at the end of this shift on Wednesday night.” He finally explains under Baekhyun’s widening eyes. “And I know you’re extra careful, but sometimes I can’t prevent myself from worrying about you.”   
“I’m so sorry to hear that, my prince. How he is?” Baekhyun lays his head comfortably on his chest, his compassionate eyes never leaving Chanyeol’s.   
“Well, those fuckers did him nasty, he only got out of the hospital this afternoon. You’ve met him once, you know how he is.” Chanyeol chuckles. “Already flirting with his assigned male nurse, and he scolded us when we brought the ‘wrong kind of flowers’ according to him. Still, he flinched every time the door opened.” He adds sadly.   
They stay embraced in silence, Baekhyun drawing unkown patterns on his chest again. “Does he know who did it?”   
“Yup, they’d already given him trouble for ‘being a bloody fag.’ But it’s not like he can denounce them to the police anyway.” Chanyeol sighs deeply. It is all so unfair. “Please, hold me tonight.” He whispers in Baekhyun’s hair.   
“Anything, my prince.” The older’s head pops up. “Let’s shower first, then eat on your bed while you tell me about your week, then we can make love all night long.” He lists while taking Chanyeol’s hand to make him stand up.   
“All night long? What got you so ambitious?” Chanyeol smirks as they discard their clothes on the – short – way to the bathroom.   
“I took a day off for tomorrow.”   
“But I didn’t, you ass.” He retorts with a whine.   
“You open your shop at ten, we have time.” Baekhyun shrugs. He stills for a few seconds under the shower head, bites his lips and throws him a coy look. “Plus it’s your birthday, I can’t miss it.” This makes his heart miss a beat. They never had the occasion to celebrate their brithdays together. “If you want, I can lurk in the shop and help you out if it gets too busy... And feel you up in the backroom when no one’s around.” He adds mischievously, leaving teasing kisses on Chanyeol’s collarbones. The water is turning cold, he does not need for Baekhyun to get hypothermia with the way he was drenched before. He should talk about this with his landlord.   
“Won’t it be too risky? I thought we agreed for you not to set foot in the shop since you’ve run into one of your parents’ neighbours there.” Chanyeol’s reluctance is barely audible with the way his head is stuck into the collar of his pyjamas, muffling his doubts. His eternal savior frees him with a sharp tug at his tee shirt. An adoring look welcomes him out of his prison, as Baekhyun hugs him while weirdly guiding him to the kitchenette.   
“I don’t care right now. Plus your employee already knows about us, right?”   
“Sehun knows I have someone, not that it’s you.” The taller rectifies. “But I guess he suspects you, since he already asked me if I thought he could hit on this ‘cheeky office worker hyung.’ That kid cannot bluff for the life of him.” Chanyeol lets out an amused huff.   
The two men chat a bit as they reheat the food Baekhyun brought. Only Chanyeol’s favourites. This attention along with the mention of spending tomorrow together gets him to shyly ask one of his secret wishes.   
“So...” He hesitantly moisters his lips as they settle on his bed. “Since it will be my birthday, can we go out tomorrow evening?” You see, they have not seem each other out of his flat for the past six months. “I promise to keep my distance if you agree to go to the cinema or a restaurant with me. Or we could just enjoy our night together here.” The younger tries to not sound too hopeful, but he cannot prevent his heart from speeding up. And from slowing down in front of Baekhyun’s apologetic face.   
“I’m so sorry my prince,” the older shakes his head slowly. “I’ll have to leave at four. We have dinner at my parents’.” He knows it is petty but he cannot help but to hate this _we_ he is not a part of. Of which he never will be.   
“Oh.” His favourite meal is turning bitter in his mouth. “It’s for them that you took your day off then.”   
Baekhyun is quick to deny and to put his plate on the floor to take Chanyeol’s hand. “It’s for you too. I swear next year will be better.”   
Two minutes pass. Baekhyun has not let go of his hand, as Chanyeol’s eyes stubbornly never left his plate, silently moving ingredients around with his chopsticks. “Do you think we’ll still be together next year?” He eventually mumbles, a hint of desperation in his voice.   
Baekhyun’s hold tightens. “As long as you want me, I’ll be there.” He answers softly but with determination.   
“I’m afraid of never stopping to want you.” And that is the bitter truth.   
The sad guilt in Baekhyun’s eyes almost makes him take his words back. “Next year will be ours.”   
“You never promise anything.” Chanyeol objects, but his coldness is already melting.   
“This time I do.” And the taller really wants to trust the glint in Baekhyun’s pupils. “Next year your birthday will be on a Sunday, so neither you nor I’d have to work. Instead, we’ll go to the beach –”   
“In November?”   
“Sure! With a bit of luck there’ll be an atrocious weather, so it’d be deserted. We’ll have the show of nature’s wrath just for ourselves, unbothered to have sex on the car.” That damn smirk is back, hands roaming Chanyeol’s skin. “Off-season everything is cheaper in seaside resorts, so I’ll cover you with gifts and street food.” A treacherous tongue laps at his left earlobe, leaving him in shivers. “Ooh but would you look at that!” The older raises on his hands after a glance at the clock. “It’s 12.02 am! Happy 26th birthday my prince!” A shining smile and peppering kisses warm his skin more efficiently than any hot shower.   
Suddenly Baekhyun goes off his lap and makes a great show of removing the large shirt that was the only piece of clothes on his golden skin.   
“What is it now, are you offering yourself?” Chanyeol tilts his head, interested.   
“What for? I’m already yours. It’s only a means to distract you.” His cakling fills the room.   
“I must admit it’s working.” Chanyeol mumbles behind his bitten lips, greedy eyes never leaving his lover’s supple bottom as he crouches on the floor.   
A candle on a puffy muffin suddenly appears. “I know you don’t like creamy cakes, so here is your birthday cake, love.”   
Chanyeol’s heart is feverish as he blows his wish. _Love me until eternal roses wither._ “And your gift.”   
An evelope inside which is printed a ticket. A return plane ticket for Tokyo.   
“What the hell?” His hands are febrile. Letters and digits dance in front of his brown orbs.   
“Yeah, usually people offer two tickets to let the birthday boy choose the person he wants to go with. But since I’m selfish, I bought a second ticket just for myself.” Baekhyun smugly explains.   
“We’re going to Japan? For a week?” There is no way. No way for them to be together for more than a few hours. And yet, as he looks at his lover there are no traces of hesitation or joke on his handsome face.   
“What’s better than spring in Japan?”   
Here he goes again, making him all choked up with hope and love. “Thank you so much. That’s two promises in one night.”   
“And I intend very much to keep them.” Gracious hands caress his cheeks. “Now... I really want to feel you. And you know the best way to make love all night?” A hot breath spreads inside Chanyeol’s attentive ears. “It’s to never come.” 

And Baekhyun did not joke about it. They did that night the slowest love making they could muster. The two men were not looking for completion, simply enjoying each other’s embrace. Baekhyun wore the softest hues of black and red as he whispered sweet nothings in his ear, his hot erection pulsing inside his walls. Sometimes, when they felt like it, one of them would chase after the pleasure hidden behind trusts inside Chanyeol’s softness. Their dicks softened and hardened at undefined rhythms.   
The muffin turned into a mess, crushed between tongues, crumbs on the most intimate parts of their bodies that they never forgot to lick clean. That is too bad Chanyeol does not like creamy cakes, they would have had a field day with a bit of buttery material.   
The young shop keeper could not swear whether it was all a dream or not. The delicious edge rendered him delirious, as constant shivers tingled every nook of his skin. His lover got him lost in the flood of his stray heart. Hands and lips were all over each other and he never felt so alive, so conscious of every fibre of his body.   
When they finally fell asleep, Chanyeol could not remember if at least one of them had cum. 

The wake-up merely three hours later hit the taller like a truck. For the thousand time he could feel Baekhyun slowly get off the bed. Of course he would have to back to his home, to his _wife_ before they could spend the day together. Change clothes, let his work files at his desk. He could not let anything at Chanyeol’s. Only a toothbrush, that is the only proof that Baekhyun was not a mere passerby in the younger’s tiny flat. Anxiety and sadness squeeze his heart.   
“You don’t have to come at the shop later, I forgot it’s stocktaking day. It will be really boring, and I won’t have a minute to spare you.” He hated the barely repressed aloofness in his own voice.   
“You sure?” But he hated even more how Baekhyun did not insist.   
The older is already dressed up. His chest collides with Chanyeol’s back in a warm embrace that still leaves Chanyeol cold. He furiously presses his eyelids together. He does not need to cast a glance to his lover, not today.   
“If that’s your wish, my prince. Happy birthday again.” A last kiss on his cheek. “Count to ten.” 

One.   
_Baekhyun’s smile._   
Two.   
_The birthmark inside his right tight._   
Three.   
_Finally a promise._   
Four.   
_A trip to Japan._   
Five.   
_Cherry flowers._   
Six.   
_A honey like voice._   
Seven.   
_Hands that knows his body better than himself._   
Eight.   
_Unsaid sufferings._   
Nine.   
_Don’t leave._   
Ten.   
_Please stay._

For the first time, Chanyeol does not bother to open his eyes to check the room. Apart from his own breathing, he can only hear the red neon light feebly flicker across the street. No single doubt Baekhyun left. 

“Well birthday boy, what’s with those sad eyes?” Kibum cheekily bumps their shoulders in the crowded bar. A large plaster covers his nose, and his left eyes is still black.   
“Yeah what’s up oppa, you barely smiled since you got here?” Sehun’s cute friend insistently presses her boobs against his arm. If he were straight, or if he had the cowardice to pretend, he would probably have dated her. Too bad his heart was taken by sinful lips and heavy cocks. _Missing you comes in wave, and tonight I’m drowning._

Snowflakes adorn Baekhyun’s hair, and it makes Chanyeol wonder how the older would look with a platinum mane. His handsome lover is barely inside that blabbers fill the flat. A tourist guide in one hand and his briefcase in the other, he excitedly shows off the bookmarks of places he wants to visit and his poor skills in Japanese. It is fortunate Chanyeol learnt it in high school, Baekhyun would not go far by himself.   
Spring is coming. In six weeks they are supposed to fly to Tokyo. Somehow Chanyeol still doubts this dream is impossible, that is why he only half listens to Baekhyun’s plans, occupied to be fascinated by the other’s enthusiasm.   
Especially since Baekhyun is less and less available these days. From twice a week, they only meet on some Fridays when Baekhyun can. Or when Chanyeol does not cancel out of pride. Because he is not at the married man’s _disposal_ you know, he could very well be busy too. Truth is, he feels alone under his own vices. He has been nothing but Baekhyun’s name for the past eighteen months now.   
It is not that Chanyeol thinks his lover is seeing someone else, or that he fell out of love with him. Pure love and adoration are easy to read in his droopy eyes. However, the shop keeper is not entirely convinced it’s only _work_ that Baekhyun is busy with. It is the elusive way he answers Chanyeol’s question. What if the risks became too big to take? What if he only thinks about his lanky lover when the day darkens, when his sad demons descend upon him in a bottomless abyss? What if Chanyeol is not needed anymore?   
“Princeling? Are you with me?” Slender fingers lose themselves in dark hair.   
Chanyeol chases after this warmth for a moment more. “Sorry, I’m just tired.”   
“Really? Want to talk about it?” Answers a concerned gaze.   
“It’s no use.” The younger sighs.   
Lips are pinched, stare becomes unreadable. With a slight note of apology. “Sorry I bothered you with all my talking. Let’s go to sleep, it’s already late.”

The sheets are of the darkest crimson. The owners of the sex shop across the street really should change that neon light, its getting weak. It makes the room flicker. Baekhyun’s breath on his back became regular half an hour ago, blessed by sleep. Even though Chanyeol avoided his gaze that night, the older never mentioned it and settled for spooning him nonetheless.   
It will be a sleepless night, Chanyeol knows it in the way his muscles ache, in the way his brain cannot prevent himself from drawing the most dreadful scenarios, in the way his heart beats painfully. In the way his black and red flat never seemed so oppressive. 

It feels like he only closed his eyelids for a few seconds when Chanyeol perceives motions next to him. The comforting warmth on his back is already fading away. His breath speeds up.   
“Hey, Chanyeol-ah. Sleep a bit more, you need it.” The usual tender peck on his right cheek. “Count to ten, my prince.” 

One.   
_Baekhyun’s musky scent._   
Two.   
_Crescents eyes._   
Three.   
_Embarrassed giggles._   
Four.   
_Intrusive tongue._   
Five.   
_Triangle lips._   
Six.   
_Curvy body._   
Seven.   
_The biggest sin._   
Eight.   
_I beg you._   
Nine.   
_Stay._   
Ten.   
_Or don’t come back._

There is no use for him to open his eyes, right? Maybe it is the lack of sleep, maybe it is the emotional tiredness. Salty tears heat up his supple skin. Shaky sobs escape his plump lips.   
“Chanyeol? What’s wrong??” Suddenly the warmness is back, feverish hands affectionately try to dry his cheeks.   
His sight is blurry but he cannot invent the silhouette crouched in front of his bed.   
“B-Baekhyun? You’re still here?”   
In swift moment he is held in a tight hug. “I’m sorry I tricked you my love, I didn’t think you’d react like that, it was supposed to be a happy surprise...” Baekhyun’s lips tickle his scorched heart.   
“What, you’re staying an hour more?” He sniffles without an once of dignity left.   
“No I... I wanted to have breakfast with you.” The older explains, never loosening his hold. “And bring you to this place I’ve found. It’s only a block away, in front of this sushi place you like so much. It’s quite cheap, considering it has a nice living room and a bedroom almost as big as your entire flat. It’s closer to my work place, and not much further from yours.”   
“What are you talking about? You’re moving in a new place?” It is as if Chanyeol’s entire head is wrapped with cotton. He has trouble understanding what is going on.   
“ _We_ are moving in. If you want to, that is.” Baekhyun rectifies, finally letting him go to stare at his orbs.   
And this _we_ has nothing to do with his wife. Baekhyun used a _we_ for them.   
“When my ex-wife and I went to my parents on your birthday, it was to explain them we were going to divorce.”   
Chanyeol’s mouth opens out of stupefaction. “Ex... Divorce?”   
“Well, to be precise it’ll only be official on Monday, but it’s done. Such a hassle it’s been, even though it was consensual. Law is damn complex.” Baekhyun rolls his eyes with a huff. His annoyance is short lived, as a second later he lands on Chanyeol’s chest with a squeal of surprise.   
“Sooo in two days you’ll be single?” The taller beams, the remanence of tears in his eyes are only filled with a thundering joy.   
“What d’you mean single?” The older takes offence, “I’ve got an amazing boyfriend, thank you very much.”   
The vexed look on Baekhyun’s beautiful face can only make the other giggle like silly. “I’m your boyfriend now, not your secret lover anymore.”   
The two men exchange blinding smiles, before an apologetic glint installs itself in Baekhyun’s orbs.   
“I’m sorry though. I didn’t manage to say to my parents I wanted a divorce because I was in love with you. If you let me a bit more time, I promise I’ll tell them I’m bi-”   
“Baek,” the taller cuts him off seriously, “I don’t give a fuck whether you come out or not. Do as you please, but I never want you to go through what I did. I want you to be as safe as possible. My only wish if for you to return to _me_ at the end of the day. At the end of every day.”   
“I love you, my prince.” And his adoring gaze puts stars to shame, for real.   
“Love you more my king. My legally unmarried boyfriend.” Again those silly giggles. He cannot believe it is all real. It must the most magical February morning that ever occurred on Earth. “Now, tell me more about our new home.” 

They spend the morning in each other’s embrace, drawing the picture of an exciting future they cannot wait for to happen. Chanyeol did not notice that the sun had the time to rise, glorious and vibrant, chasing the shadows and neon lights. The room is white again. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you dear reader for reaching this point, I hope the end was not too rushed ? Wish you a pleasant day!


End file.
